MONSTER OUTSIDE

Hello, Americans. 

What the hell are you thinking? 

There's an invisible monster outside - AND YOU WANT TO GET A HAIRCUT!?

Did you ever see those 1950's sci-fi films? 

The metaphorical ones? 

Where the monster is really a nuclear threat or some kind of politically or sociologically induced paranoia? 

Because this is like one if those movies!

ONLY IT'S REAL!

Don't go outside! 

Not because we care if you live or die. That's beside the point. 

You might be doing us a favor. Thinning the herd. 

Maybe we should let idiots like you go outside. Make an example for the borderline morons who are only thinking about going outside. 

But we wouldn't do that. 

We're better than that. 

We care

Even about YOU!

Besides, if you had seen those movies you'd know it's the idiots that think "All this talk of monsters is a hoax!" - they're killed by the monster! 

Why? 

BECAUSE THEY GO OUTSIDE!

I think I've made myself clear. 

Stay safe, Americans.